


thank you, Kamadeva

by VenezuelanWriter



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotionally Repressed, Episode: S04E11 “Séance and Sensibility”, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Magic Made Them Do It, Pining, Spoilers, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:58:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter/pseuds/VenezuelanWriter
Summary: Kamadeva’s ashes make Ray realize how head over heels he’s for Nate. Now he has to make a decision about how he’s going to act on those feelings.





	thank you, Kamadeva

**Author's Note:**

> To Raya, the #1 steelatom shipper that I know!
> 
> unbeta'd.

Ray couldn’t face Nate.

He wished he could, but it wasn’t within him to handle Nate’s pain when giving Nora a second chance had been his idea in the first place.

In Nate’s living room, Ray failed to avoid him and stumbled into him. Candies spilled all over the floor, as if his embarrassment wasn’t already enough.

With his eyes fixed on the floor, Ray rushed to say, “I’m sorry,” he meant it as an apology, then as his condolences. “I’m -so sorry.”

Nate’s voice came quiet but friendly. “It’s okay, Ray.”

“No, it’s not.” Ray looked him in the eyes, connoting every single word. “I gave her a second chance and now this happened…”

“You thought she could change, and I never thought my father,” he looked around and finished in a hiss, “would torture magical creatures so I guess we were both wrong,” Nate shrugged off.

Ray sighed, a little mad at himself for making Nate be so condescending at _his dad’s_ funeral.

“I can’t believe you’re the one comforting me,” Ray whispered.

“C’mon, I love you, bro,” Nate said. He patted Ray’s arm and added lightly, “That’s never gonna change.”

Ray’s jaw unclenched. He knew his and Nate’s relationship was strong, but it was still meaningful to hear the words. It was very easy, yet special.

“Love you, too.”

They offered each other a smile and continued walking where they had been headed before.

✦

The anxiety of knowing Nora was innocent sparkled through Ray. He really didn’t want to be there anymore; he wanted to start working the case of what had actually happened so he could give Nate the truth.

When he heard there was a fugitive alert, he found the perfect excuse for that.

After Sara excused them, Nate, understanding as ever, told them it was okay that they had to leave.

Instinct —definitely mere instinct, not reason—  was what made Ray kiss Nate on the cheek goodbye.

He didn’t process what he was doing until it was too late. Nate, although he also acted like it was natural at first, gave him a confused look when he realized what had just happened.

Not that it was too awkward, but it wasn’t routinary, either, that they’d do more than _occasionally_ hugging.

Much less in public, in times when they weren’t having a Moment™.

But oh, well, they were the Legends. Anything could be expected from them, couldn't it?

Ray just wanted to show affection, _platonic_ affection, and there was nothing wrong with that. Nate had seemed taken aback, but he didn’t even frown or back off.

It’d been unexpected, but not unpleasant for any of them.

Ray wouldn’t beat himself up over his social inaccuracy —it was Nate, his best friend. There was nothing to worry about.

✦

A lot happened in the course of the day.

Ray met with Nora. She told him a demon had killed Hank, and he promised to talk to Constantine and find proof of that to get back to her. He also asked her to lay low until that moment arrived.

The girls, in the meantime, got the fugitive. His name was Sanjay and he used the ashes of Kamadeva, the Hindu God of Love, to spread lust in the 19th century England. He was locked up in the laboratory, as the timeline still needed to be fixed but it was too late to keep investigating the case.

Ray believed Nate would still be at his dad’s funeral, in DC. Or in DC, period. A lot of hours had passed and, despite it being a major mess, Ray still did have a good track of linear time; Mr. Heywood’s funeral should’ve been over by then.

Ray thought Mick, Constantine, and Nate had no way of returning to the Waverider, which had him very confused when he woke up in the middle of the night to get some water and he saw Nate in the Parlour.

“You’re back?” He asked, entering the office with his almost-full glass.

Nate was wearing his white dressing shirt from earlier, but not the suit.

“Yeah,” Nate sighed. Ray noticed there was a shot of whiskey in his hand. “Came by myself —I had my time courier. And I wanted to… drink, I guess.”

Ray nodded slowly. “Can I join you?”

“Of course.” Nate served him a glass of his own and Ray sat on the opposite side of the desk.

He didn’t mean to join him in the drinking, but he didn’t mind sipping from his glass and letting the alcohol slowly hit him.

They both drank silently, and Ray couldn’t help but feel the atmosphere was getting tense with sensuality by the second.

Nate looked handsome in that clothes, formal but undone, and Ray’s PJ’s couldn’t be further away from sexy but sleeping clothes was always a plus for him. They were soft, and thin, and comfortable, and wonderfully convenient a lot of the times.

Now, was he imagining things or Nate’s stare actually was screaming desire? It must’ve been a dream. Nate was straight as an arrow and… and Ray himself had never felt like that before, itching under his skin so badly to touch someone else.

If he liked Nate, he would’ve said so a couple of days ago with the “polygraph bug” in him. And he didn’t. So no, it wasn’t beyond platonic what he and Nate had.

Right?

“Uhm, Ray,” Nate said, startling Ray out of his thoughts. Nate was staring at his glass. “Is it okay if I want to… feel you?”

Nate’s hand landed on Ray’s over the table and his eyes snapped up, meeting Ray’s. Ray gulped, nervous.

“Nate…”

He knew where things were going. He just didn’t understand jack about it and he really wanted to.

Like in a movie, when there were cuts between scenes, Ray missed the process of how he got there and only realized he suddenly was pinned against a wall, making out with Nate.

It felt right. He didn’t doubt himself, or what they were doing. He didn’t question Nate’s crush on Zari, or his on Nora. Those were just that, crushes, but this was something way greater than that.

It also felt good, physically speaking. Nate kissed like there was no tomorrow and Ray was more than happy to accept the challenge of keeping up with the quick pace.

Next shot: they were doing the same, but shirtless and on Ray’s double-sized bed.

They’d been in there together so many times before, to hang out, to watch movies, to build that lego castle Ray had grown to love so much. Still, somehow this time felt like the first one.

It was new, and way more intimate, and _God,_ Ray wished he hadn’t missed the bit where Nate took his shirt off. He always found undressing so sexy…

Nate drew back from the kiss. They were both breathing heavily against each other’s mouths. Nate bit Ray’s lower lip, pulling at it a little bit, playing.

His hand slid down’s Ray’s naked torso —which, by the way, didn’t look half as great as Nate’s defined six-pack— and palmed him through the, then again, convenient and soft pajama pants.

“Is this good with you?” Nate asked, voice low.

“More than good,” Ray whispered.

Nate’s hand slipped in and, okay, even if _great-amazing-wonderful-perfect_ were a word, it would’ve been an understatement.

The hand around him moved up and down, gliding easily on the skin from Ray’s leaking, making him throw his head back against the pillow and groan softly.

Nate smirked. “God, you look so handsome, Ray,” he praised, leaving wet kisses from Ray’s vampire spot, to his collarbones, shoulders, pecs, nipples —Ray shuddered at the overwhelming sensation.

He wasn’t sure if he came that soon, or if it was one of those “cut to” tricks, but he didn’t care. Spilling over his stomach and Nate’s hand was probably the hottest thing that had ever happened to him —not that it was a hard record to beat, but the point remained.

Ray was about to undress Nate from his pants, looking forward to giving him head, when the moment, the illusion, the magic, it all broke apart.

His eyes opened slowly, and he was confused for only a second about what was going on: it’d been indeed just a dream.

He looked down, as aware of his hard-on as he could ever be, and, almost annoyed at it, decided to attend the situation instead of ignoring it.

Pumping his hand on himself, he remembered the dream. He imagined it was Nate’s hand and not his that was touching him, and he imagined how it would’ve felt to take Nate’s pants off, seeing his dick, feeling it, having it _in his mouth—_

He came, for real this time, hard and twice as sating as in his sleep.

Now, with a clear and not-horny mind, he could focus on figuring out what the heck it was that he felt for Nate.

✦

When Gideon explained him Sanjay’s —well, actually Kamadeva’s— magic only worked if your heart really wanted that person, he felt like a cage was being open beneath his ribs, and a lot of feelings were escaping the secure, self-imposed place.

From the moment they met, there was a spark, a connection. Not knowing how things would turn out, Ray assumed the best choice was to let feelings beyond friendship aside.

He focused, instead, on their ever-growing, healthy, beautiful, positive relationship that they developed over time.

Ray never minded his attraction for other men, but he'd never come down to feel so lost in love with one. What was he supposed to do? Risk everything and confess his feelings? Try to cage them back in the safe they used to be in? Ask Gideon to erase the dream from his memory?

(Okay, no, he would never, for science purposes only, voluntarily have those images removed from his mind).

He made a decision over his breakfast cereal: he’d come clean to Nate and hope for the best.

After all, Nate had said it himself: his love for Ray was constant, no matter what.

✦

Ray giggled between the sheets, only half-awake. Despite his sleepiness, he felt content as never before.

Nate cupped Ray’s face, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb, and smiled.

“Last night, babe, _that_ ,” Nate said, kissing Ray’s lips softly, “that had to be a dream.”

Ray kissed him back, cuddled against his chest, replaying the nickname in his head.

“I guess it’s another thing to thank the time anomalies for.”

Ray planted a chaste peck on Nate’s muscled pectoral and smiled to himself.

He was never much of a believer, but the Kamadeva God definitely would forever hold a place in his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you've liked this! I can't believe there aren't a lot of fics about this episode yet. It just gave us, shippers, a lot of delicious things to work with. Hopefully I made it (and Ray and Nate) some justice.
> 
> find me on tumblr: marian-elisa.


End file.
